My Process: How I Have Accepted I Learn Different

I wasn’t interested in many of the academic classes throughout my entire school career. I have never been a great student but I have gotten by. In hindsight, I excelled in leadership activities and I was successful in the things I enjoyed. But I didn’t enjoy sitting in a classroom listening to a teacher talk. My favorite days were the ones where I did extracurricular activities or when my school did career days where I was able to meet people who had jobs and I could also come to school dressed in business wear! I found so many of my classes boring but I loved that school gave me time with my friends, community, and that I could try my hand at a range of activities or sports. I tried out for volleyball, basketball, and softball and while I didn’t make any of the teams (I had yet to tap into my athleticism) I loved getting the chance to be part of the training seasons. I also loved the idea of going to games and the pep talks coaches gave so I signed up to be a water-girl for my HS football team. I also signed up to work and volunteer in my school's news segment club. And after school and on the weekends I attended church and helped organize anything they needed. 

Early on, I was determined to work in the hospitality and tourism industry so I signed myself up for a magnet program my high school just so happened to have called The Academy of Hospitality and Tourism. My junior year of high school I landed an internship at a boutique hotel in Miami Beach where celebrities and athletes like Dwayne Wade often visited. There what I enjoyed most was learning and building relationships with the staff as well as receiving mentorship from the hotel directors. And although my grades were not the best, I kept them high enough to allow me to participate in extracurricular activities and do internships. I was even voted “Most Likely to Succeed” in my HS superlatives awards. 

At the same time I hated living in Miami. I experienced my first experiences with racism and colorism living there and I was ready to return to the northeast, where I knew I would feel more at home. I knew that college would be my ticket out of Miami and back to NYC – or close to it. However, I didn’t have a high GPA and I was a terrible test taker so my SAT scores were trash! I was able to apply to Johnson & Wales University and because they didn’t require SAT scores, was close to NYC (in Providence, RI) and had a degree in hotel and tourism management it was perfect for me. So I took out a bunch of student loans and found myself in this beautiful university around more people who looked and sounded like me. As soon as my freshman year started I joined ALL the clubs. I pledged a Latina based sorority, joined a club for minorities in hospitality, joined the Dominican Student Association, and started a club for women empowerment. 

However, trying to stay focused academically in school was still difficult for me. My joy in college was planning events and creating opportunities for me and my fellow classmates to grow as individuals/professionally. I spent the majority of my time in college working, doing internships every school break, volunteering at nonprofits, being on the e-board of clubs, and building relationships with my sorority sisters and friends. Classes were not my main priority and I tried my best to stay afloat in order to have permission to do what I was good at and enjoyed. However, my senior year my grades plunged and my sorority put me on academic probation. And what hurt the most was that I could no longer plan events.

After I graduated college, 5 years later, I landed a housekeeping manager-in-training position at a major hotel company, which I hated and got myself fired. I kept thinking how much I missed the social good work I had done while at JWU so after shifting my resume to fit this new found passion, I transitioned to education work. I worked for three different education non-profit institutions and they placed me with middle and high school students but I never taught academic subjects. My classes were leadership development, social Justice, civic engagement, community service, and women's rights. 

I then applied to social work school and got in. I had this vision for plugging people into resources to survive the system, get opportunities for a better life — whatever that meant to them. I applied to the Peace Corps and also got it. But in the end I didn’t pursue either! I ended up attending an urban agricultural school called Farm School NYC which I loved but even there I was still very much struggling with the concept of homework, readings, and tests. The program was two years and it took me four to graduate. 

I used to shame myself for all my struggles with schooling. While I never doubted I am a smart person, I always wondered why the heck it was so hard for me to do school? And I never felt comfortable sharing with fellow classmates that the way we were learning wasn’t working for me. Through going within, learning more about myself, and understanding systems of oppression I have begun to accept that there is nothing wrong with me, except that I learn differently and deserve more liberated learning spaces. I now understand that I learn and grow via relationships, experiences, talking, and being. I have also stepped into my own personal power and my strengths as a leader. Today, I love the work I do and I am really good at it – actually I am great at it! I felt the need to come clean about my struggles with the current “traditional” learning because I am often praised for all that I know and I wanted to share that I owe much of what I know to experiences and community learning processes.