Reclaiming my Agency and Recommitting to my Purpose

During challenging moments in life when everything feels out of control, I find solace in my personal projects and creative pursuits. Perhaps it's a way for me to regain a sense of agency or to seek hope beyond myself, or maybe it's both, and more.

As I reflect on this, I'm mourning the loss of a life I was building with someone, a life that recently shattered once again. It was a frightening situation, but I'm grateful for the emotional healing, strong relationships, and financial stability I've invested in over time. These investments enabled me to swiftly make decisions that ensured the safety of myself and my daughter, allowed me to confide in loved ones about the situation, and receive support. My therapist commended my healthy response, a stark contrast to how I might have handled it in the past when shame kept me silent.

Since becoming a mother, and even more so upon discovering I was pregnant, I've embraced a shameless and self-centric approach. I prioritize my time, energy, and capacity, striving to nurture myself and my daughter before attending to others or external demands. While I mostly succeed, I acknowledge I'm still on a journey of healing and occasional setbacks. This current ordeal has left me feeling devastated, but each day I allow myself to experience the full spectrum of emotions it brings. It's also served as a reminder of my courage, forged through audacity and faith, and how I've shaped my life's path.

My life's work is an ode and commitment to Mother Earth, my people, ancestral lineage, and justice & liberation. However, the draining nature of my recent circumstances left little energy to dedicate to this mission. So, I mourn, yes, but I also affirm my presence, my right to exist, and my purpose on this earth—to guide my community and future generations closer to liberation.

That said, I'm gearing up to unveil a project to my community that I've been diligently crafting behind the scenes for over two years. Hint: it's centered on uplifting and amplifying low-income Dominican surfers, empowering them to pursue professional careers in the sport. Stay tuned for updates in the coming weeks. Thank you for being a part of my journey and witnessing this moment in my life.